Just try and guess who's house got broken into. Okay, now guess who's bed got slept in. That's right boys and girls. It was mine!!!!!! And it sure as HELL wasn't Goldilocks in my bed! Damn!!! Why me? I must have done something wrong in a previous life. That's the only thing that I can think of.
blue = me
white = my roommate
Okay. Now let me set this up for you. I was in the oh so enviable position of working graveyard shift that week at a grocery store. So I leave at 9 PM for work. At 11:15 I get a call from my roommate.
"Hey, was the front window in the living room broken when you left for work?"
"Noooooo?????"
"Oh. Did you leave your bike out in the middle of the living room?" The garage is connected to the house. All the naked guy had to do was to wheel it into the house. If you re-read the article you'll see that for some un-godly reason the newspaper guy thought that he used the bike to smash in the front window.
"Noooooo?????" Now why the hell would I leave my bike in the middle of the living room?
"I think that someone broke in."
"Really? You think?" With just a little bit of sarcasm in my voice. Don't forget, I'm at work and my roommate is at home with the cordless phone.
"Man, this sucks." An understatement if I've ever heard one.
So he starts walking around the house commenting on stuff that's been moved or rifled through. Stuff got moved around in the garage. The guy dug through the old washer and dryer that we don't even use. He checked his room and his PlayStation™ was picked up off the floor and placed on his bed. Everything seemed to be okay in my computer room that he could tell. So he decided to check my room.
"I'm going to check your room."
"Okay. There's nothing in there to steal.... All I have is a bed and a dresser in there."
Let me tell you one thing about my roommate. He has the conversational volume of a bullhorn. The guy is just loud. I've gotten so used to it that I don't even notice any more. After I thought about it for a while, the naked guy must have been on something to sleep through 5 minutes of our phone conversation.
So my roommate gets to my room and he's just rambling on when.......... dead silence.
"There's someone in your bed." In the quietest voice I have ever heard him talk in.
"What?" That one caught me by surprise.
"I see a head and I see feet. There is someone in your bed. What should I do?"
"Dude. Go outside and call 911." Who's knows what kind of a whack job is going to break into someone's house and take a nap. I believe in the better safe than sorry principle.
"What should I do? Should I wake him up?" Still in a small voice.
"NO! GO OUTSIDE AND CALL 911!" And yes, I said it that loud.
"Okay, okay, okay." Click.
Okay. So I'm still at work. I work like 30 minutes away so I can't get there in time to be of any assistance what so ever. He calls me back in about 5 minutes.
"4 cops showed up an they just went in." The rocket scientist went into HIS ROOM and called 911. They heard his story and told him to go outside. Does that sound familiar?
So he rambles on to me about what he saw and what he told the police. Next thing I know he tells me that the cops are coming out.
"Hey, they're coming out right now and OH SHIT!"
"What....... What....?????"
"I'll call you back."
Damn! There's nothing like suspense. I had a million thoughts running through my head. He finally calls me back about 15 excruciating minutes later.
"The cops told me that they've been searching for this guy since, like 9 o'clock. He's been running up and down Florida (Ave) naked!"
"Ah man...... And he was in my bed?!?!?!?!"
"Yep. And he stunk too!"
Now that was the absolutely last thing that I wanted to hear. Needless to say I burned my sheets. I have a bit of an investment in my mattress set so I scrubbed the hell out of them for a couple of hours. I bleached them and disinfected them and cleaned and scrubbed. Oh man that sucked. I consider my self lucky though. He could have come in and trashed the place or robbed us blind. Instead he just acme in, rearranged stuff, and went to sleep.
You know what the trippy part about this whole story is. That had an article in The Hemet News, The Press Enterprise, and some newspaper in Santa Barbara. (A friend at works sister lives up there) I've also been told that they mentioned it on the channel 5 news, channel 11 news and on 2 different radio stations.
Go figure.